7 chocolate bars for tortured poets

I’m sure I’m not alone in being sucked into a Taylor Swift haze for the last year week. Imagine my surprise when chocolate was referenced in the second song of her latest album, THE TORTURED POET DEPARTMENT — and what’s more, it’s the title track!

Here we go, in the second verse:

This led me down a rabbit hole that included listening to Chocolate by The 1975 (and yes, I know chocolate is used euphemistically in that song, which is just a travesty because chocolate is amazing and deserves more).

Which seven chocolate bars could Taylor Swift be referencing? It’s dangerous to take lyrics (or poetry, for that matter) literally, but let’s do it anyway. Just for fun.

Here’s some chocolate that is worthy of Taylor Swift, with or without her paramour.

1. Cacao Sampaka Gin and Tonic

Boozy bars are popular in the bean-to-bar scene — it seems like almost every maker has a bourbon, whiskey or rum bar. But Cacao Sampaka’s twist on libations is befitting their wild flavors. This gin and tonic inclusion (any add-in like candy, fruit, nibs, etc. that is in the chocolate bar) seems just the thing for someone who loves typewriters, finds the strength to haul one over to their lover’s apartment — and then has the audacity to leave it there, surely taking up precious counter space.

2. Soma Starry Night (Hacienda Victoria, Ecuador with Newfoundland Sea Salt)/ Down Bad

I loved the spacey aura across TTPD — stars are my favorite, after all! (My husband’s not-serious album theory is that Taylor is a Star Trek fan because of the “beam me up” and “Measure of a Man” references.) This delectable bar from Toronto-based Soma immediately came to mind when I was kicking around possible chocolate bars. I’m a sucker for flaky salt, and it really does look like little stars across the back of this delicious milk chocolate.

3. Pump Street Cookie Chip (Hacienda Victoria, Ecuador 60%)/ So Long, London

If I were to eat one bar all in one sitting (or eat seven in one night), it would be any of the bakery bars from Pump Street, but especially the Cookie Chip bar. This mellow Ecuador bar made in Suffolk, England, has crunchy, buttery cookie crumbs evenly distributed throughout. I have the best intentions of sharing this bar with everyone because I love it so much, but it just doesn’t last that long. Other Pump Street bakery bars may be more sophisticated and nuanced with their inclusions, but this one is just straight up yummy. (Is it too ridiculous if I call it the loml? cboml? I can’t help myself.)

4. Castronovo White Chocolate infused with Lemon & Lemon Salt/ Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)

Citrus is one of the five things I think about when I hear the word “Florida,” but this bar (from a Florida maker) takes citrus in a surprising place. I love most citrus and chocolate combinations, but this sunny one stands out. The tart lemon, sweet white chocolate and sharp salt perfectly balance each other.

I’ve only had the pleasure of eating Castronovo a few times, but every time it has been really enjoyable, so try them when you get the chance!

5. LetterPress Ghana, Ashanti 70%/ Clara Bow

With a love letter to Clara Bow, including a brand from the city of stars was only natural.

LetterPress, based in LA, is a brand that really shines from a textural perspective. I love that they hype their Ghana bar, an origin that has a bad reputation because the cacao is often a result of slave labor. I love that they talk about how the beans for the bar are sourced responsibly — education and action around the issue is so important. And the chocolate is great.

6. Raaka Botanical Collection Box/ Peter

In Peter Pan, we have the joy of a chocolate reference and this lovely quote:

Raaka, a brand located in Brooklyn, New York, has a trio of bars — Strawberry Basil, Chamomile Lavender and Blueberry Lemon — that feel like the perfect teatime addition. If you love an even more tea-focused bar, their Earl Grey bar with Ugandan cacao is it. Raaka specializes in unroasted single-origin chocolate bars with fun, off-beat inclusions.

(I really wanted to include the black and white, 100% and coconut white chocolate swirl bar because it matches the album vibes SO. MUCH. and it’s my favorite Raaka bar, but it looks like they aren’t selling it right now! So if you’re reading this, Raaka, please bring it back!)

7. GoodNow Farms Columbia Boyacá 73%

Emily Dickinson isn’t directly called out in this album, but let’s give a little credit to one of the OG (American) Tortured Poets. (Depending on which Swiftie you talk to, Emily’s fingerprints are all over Evermore. Plus she and Taylor are apparently sixth cousins.)

GoodNow Farms and Emily are both from Massachusetts. I love the faint spicy note I get in the middle of tasting this Columbian bar. The delicate flavor could be a muse.

SURPRISE! THE ANTHOLOGY

I, like Taylor, have a hard time narrowing things down sometimes. Here are a few more chocolate/Taylor Swift thoughts. (Think of these as vault tracks, as it were.)

 
Chapon/ Paris

Hi, I know this song is on a different album, but I got to go to a mousse bar in Paris with one of my very best friends, and if you can’t have that experience, eating one of their chocolate bars is the next best thing.

Their Venezuela is so smooth and mellow. I’m 50% sure that was the flavor of mousse I got and it so excellent in either form.

(It looks like they’ve rebranded and aren’t available in any of the shops where I normally buy chocolate, so I’ll keep my eye on them. I should probably just take this section out, but what if you’re planning on visiting Paris?! And I’m too committed to the photo I found. I have a lot of Chapon at my house still, so come over for a chocolate tasting if you’re interested in trying it, haha.)

The Meadow

In my research, I found out that The Meadow’s NYC location is open again! The Meadow is a specialty shop that started in Portland.

I can imagine Taylor going in after a recording session and picking out a chocolate bar or two, maybe by herself, maybe with a friend or significant other. Maybe to buy one of the bars mentioned here!

Maker of the week

Here’s an honorable mention: Map Chocolate — run by Mackenzie Rivers, a maker out of Oregon who makes small-batches of 100 bars at a time — had a Swiftian-themed drop this week! I was too slow in getting this newsletter written (and too indecisive) and everything is already sold out!

When I was thinking of space-themed bars, her magnificent Meteor Shower (65% Honduras dark milk with toasted black sesame and lava salt) immediately came to mind. There is a delightful savoriness to that bar — we can only hope that she drops it again sometime! Keep an eye on her next drop if you love exclusive, creative bars!

Thanks for joining me at the intersection of Taylor Swift and chocolate!

Feel free to email me back or message me on Instagram @ginny.chocolatist with your review of THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT and/or any chocolate musings.

May all our nights include seven bars of chocolate. 🤍